Development | Bye-Bye Dummy...

The time has come - Danru needs to be weaned from his dummy.  If it’s as scary to him as it is to me, I am not sure, but I found this handy small plastic gadget to be so convenient.  It gives comfort, allows extra time to heat up the bottle and also keep those little mouths shut {when needed :-)}.  At some point I suppose it is just there for the sake of being there and become more of a hassle than a soother. 

Danru has this trio of items that he is very fond of - Torrels {dummy}, Doekie {a cloth nappy} and Bearie {a little soft bear that he received as a gift from good friends of ours, Rudi and Colette, when he was just born}. Well, he would not easily let any of these precious possessions go by his own, so we had to take control of the situation. We decided that Bearie can stay as long as he wanted, but that Torrels and Doekie will have to go even if it means tears and disappointment.

We came up with all sorts of plans: Maybe we should withhold the dummy during the day and only give it at night, then take it away entirely and then Doekie, but this could become a dreadful process that might result in crying, complaining and confusion with every step. Or maybe, it should just get lost, Or maybe we should give it to the monkeys in the Kruger when we are on holiday.  I heard about a mom that even made up a story about a Dummy Fairy that you need to give it to in return for a present.  After some thought, and this might sounds harsh, I decided that we will tell him the truth - He is a big boy now and doesn't need Doekie and Torrels anymore.  What made the process slightly more difficult was that Romé still uses these two items and therefore we put it in context to him by telling him that she is still a baby and that he is big.

Monday was the big day - I took my chance when he was in quite a good mood and explained to him exactly what was about to happen and what the reason was.  First I gave him the dummy and told him to throw it away in the dustbin and then it was the cloth nappy's turn to be thrown away with a lot of courage.  It all went well until he started to become tired.  Usually when it gets close to bedtime, he would start asking for Torrels, then Doekie, then Bearie and this would be his cue to go to bed. It was heart-breaking to tell him that only Bearie was left and that he threw the other two away.  He went straight to the bin and started moaning that he wanted them back and we just kept our grounds that he is big now.

Later, after he calmed down and with lot of explanation and encouragement, I took him to bed, just for him to break out in tears again.  At this point, I felt terrible too, but knew if I give it back now, we will have to restart a worse battle next time. More crying followed for a few minutes in which I ensured him that Bearie is not going anywhere and supported him in this tragic moment.   He fell asleep and surprisingly only woke up at 4 for the first time! Was all these 'extras' not keeping him from sleeping? ....... I don't know......  He did asked for the items the next morning, but it didn't even upset him when we told him it was gone.

It’s a few days later and he still drops the question from time to time, but in a more playful way in which he receives a playful NO-answer.  To me it seems that he is now finding his comfort in something else and dealing with 'issues' differently.  In the past week, he has really grown up!